Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
