At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
