He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
