Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
