so explain again why im purple
no
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
