i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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