What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Randomize
