Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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