I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
His nipple licking is glorious
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