she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
