what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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