oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
ttyl tear gas
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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