Buhtt sex?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
