hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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