hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
