seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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