Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Randomize
