4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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