No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
