I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
