Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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