Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
