I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Randomize
