Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
