It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
