Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
