it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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