Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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