Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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