Someone shit on the floor
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
