How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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