Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Randomize
