I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
