So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
