oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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