His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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