Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
