If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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