I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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