So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
