so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
