im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
