Jerry, you need to find god
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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