let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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