There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
