You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
