Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Randomize
