hell yes lets make some ravioli
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
