I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
