I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
