Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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