His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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