foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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