This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
