I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
