the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize