We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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