Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
She's not a foreskin expert like you
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
