I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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