sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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