she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
